grantwarkentin.com

Vancouver 2010 Olympic mascot Quatchi.

I think I convinced Quatchi to move to Campbell River.

Yup, after the Olympics are over, I’m pretty sure the cuddly, hockey-loving sasquatch mascot of the 2010 Winter Olympic Games is going to come check out our fine city. Well, the woods, anyway. Sasquatches are really shy creatures, unless there’s a hockey game going on. But he might be interested in a patio home near the forest.

We met the big lug when we took our family to Vancouver this past weekend to enjoy some of the sights and free activities downtown. There was plenty of free fun, enough to keep us busy all day, from concerts to free admission to the art gallery, outdoor art displays and even some collectible freebies.

But although I would have loved a chance to wander through the art gallery for free, some things aren’t possible when you’re backpacking a two-year-old and also trying to keep a four-year-old girl from dashing into the crowd.

As far as she was concerned, the whole reason we were there was to watch the “Mascots on Ice” show on the ice sheet underneath Robson Street.

“Can I see Quatchi now?” she asked about six million times.

I wasn’t going to let her be disappointed. I handed off my cranky two-year-old son to my wife, hauled the girl up on to my shoulders and barreled through the crowd, staking out our spot at centre ice 15 minutes before the show began.

I have to hand it to the Olympic organizers – they’re very considerate of kids. Rather than making the thousands of little ones hunkered around the ice sheet wait for the mascots, Quatchi, Miga and Sumi showed up early, high-fiving and hugging kids while the rest of the skaters got their costumes on. And they stayed for a few minutes after the show, too.

While my daughter screamed in joy and tried to rip out handfuls of Quatchi’s fur every time he skated by, I adjusted my “City of Campbell River” pin and did my best to act as an ambassador for our community.

And I think it worked. Quatchi kept skating past us to check out my pin. I think he might be coming up next month to check out our fair city. If you hear a rustling in the woods, that’s probably him. Pray it’s him. If it’s the “Fuwa” things – the mascots from the Beijing 2008 Summer Olympics – be afraid. Be very afraid. They only smile before they kill.

Beware the Fuwa, their hearts burn with MURDER

Fatso the Fat-Arsed Wombat.

Quatchi mentioned that other mascots from previous Olympics (barring the Fuwa) are interested in relocating, including Hidy and Howdy, the two polar bears from the 1988 Winter Olympics in Calgary, and my favourite, Fatso the Fat-Arsed Wombat, who was the unofficial but popular favourite mascot of the 2000 Summer Olympics in Sydney, Australia.

I hope our tourism promotion offices can get it together to attract them here, but I’m not confident. The campbellriver.travel website… well… it sucks. Sorry. Tiny little boring pictures and lots of text. Sasquatches and wombats aren’t going to read all that. It needs big, beautiful pictures of the Campbell River region, and less text. Maybe a video testimonial or two. Maybe they’re there, I don’t know, I didn’t bother looking past the front page, it was too dull.

And RiverCorp the city’s economic development agency, well, who knows what they’re actually doing. They’re apparently helping attract new businesses to town, but we can’t tell because they never call, they never write, and when I try and talk to them about a feel-good story all I get is “no comment.”

I sure hope Quatchi doesn’t want to start up a business here to ease his way into retirement, I don’t think he’s going to get a lot of help from them.

Sailboat passing Discovery Pier. Why can’t our tourism promotion sites have more pictures like this? Photo by Grant Warkentin.

As for the rest of them, I know there’s a long, boring history in this community of little tourism and business fiefdoms battling each other to see who can get the biggest pile of crumbs, but come on. It’s only going to work if we put the grievances of the 1980s and 1990s behind us and look at the future.

We’re only 10 years behind. Time to catch up. The mascot market is waiting.

Looks almost like what came out in my boy's diaper this morning.

I knew the boy was too quiet.

Out of my sight for a few minutes, he had climbed up on to the kitchen table and started playing with his sister’s play foam, one of the presents from her weekend birthday party.

The stuff is small styrofoam balls, held together with magic glue that doesn’t stick to your fingers. It’s a bit like playing with the mix for Rice Krispies squares, before you bake it. It’s actually a lot of fun.

He seemed OK, just pulling it apart and sticking it back together, so I let him play with it on the floor beside me while I worked on my website.

I looked down a minute later and he was tonguing a great wad of green and yellow foam out of his mouth.

I grabbed him and despite his attempts to escape, bite off my finger and burst my eardrums, I picked the rest out of his mouth. I put the foam away.

This morning, he filled two diapers with little balls of coloured styrofoam. I was horrified, but had to laugh. Guess he swallowed a bunch when I wasn’t looking. Maybe that space-age magic glue will help clean out his garbage guts.

We didn’t try and salvage the foam that came out in his diaper, in case anyone was wondering.

Gonna take the kids down to the beach this morning for a low tide. Maybe we’ll find some cool sea life! Last time we went we found some huge moon snails. This beach isn’t as nice as that one, but there’s  still lots to see.

I find it amazing how much life there is  at the beach. Stand still long enough and you’ll see millions of creatures. The sand is from countless numbers of their crushed shells collected and ground into minute particles over the years.

I see that as evidence of evolution. All the creatures that have lived and died form the foundation for the next generations to thrive, to adapt and to lay the foundation for the next generation after that.

My son has been sick for ages. I need to sleep. He needs to sleep. I want a little bit of hope back in my life.

So here it is. The new year. 2009.

My kids are getting older – they’re transforming from babies to children before my eyes. It’s hard to watch, but wonderful at the same time.

But it is tough being a dad. Especially when you rarely get a good night of sleep. It’s pretty hard to be patient when you’re exhausted. I don’t know how my wife does it.

I try and be understanding, and help when I can, but sometimes I just don’t want to come home and then clean up the house after dinner and put the kids to bed. What does my wife do all day that she can’t keep the house clean?

After a few days over the holidays home with the family, I understand now. It’s tough keeping a toddler amused and a baby happy.

So if I’m going to make a New Year’s resolution, it will be to be more understanding and patient with my family.

This all sounds kind of shallow, but it is what it is. I have my doubt about any greater purpose or meaning to life beyond what we see in front of us. What really seems to matter is what we do with our lives, each day, day after day. I want my kids to remember me as a kind, loving and patient father. That is not going to be easy for me to accomplish. But it’s worth it.

MY wife and I made pumpkins last night. Julia’s is on the left and mine on the right.

Our Halloween pumpkins